First of all, thanks for reading, and checking the site every now and then, getting us our ‘mad hits’ and whatnot.

However, as we announced a few weeks ago, the Yetiblog has moved URLs and gone home to be a section of our host publication’s website, The Yeti (online)

If you want to bookmark it so you go straight to the blog section, that URL is here.

Please keep reading us and visit our new URL instead of this one, because there will be no more updates here.

Love,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Yetiblog Editor

Something to get your favorite blog for Valentine's Day, yes?

It’s from SkyMall, of course.

(Thanks for the tip, Antares!)

He’s talking of course about the only successful slave revolt in history and the foundation of the first republic ruled by black people, which as we all know was led by Toussant L’Ouverture’s undead army of voodoo zombies.

I’m not a very religious person, but I know there’s a special circle in Hell for people like Pat Robertson.

We fully expected someone from the wingnut religious right to blame the earthquake on the Haitian people’s “unholy” (read: black) ways. Everyone did. Sometimes it just sucks to be right, doesn’t it?

Go here to find a list of relief organizations bringing aid to the people of Haiti to which you can give donations. Or give $10 to Red Cross efforts over there by texting “HAITI” to 90999. It will come out of your phone bill automatically.

(via Wonkette, Huffington Post)

We have some exciting news about ourselves! Our home site, The Yeti, is now up and running again, redesigned and better than ever. From now on Yetiblog posts will appear there, instead of here. There are still some kinks we’re working out, so for awhile we’ll be posting simultaneously in both places, but eventually this address will be phased out and we’ll be posting exclusively from the home site.

The new site is better in almost every way, except one. We will no longer be using the awesome image that sits atop our blog’s noble head. This image:

We found it on the internet while setting up this wordpress, and it’s copyrighted, so it’s not going to our main site. It will be greatly missed, at least by us.

Yet while we mourn the loss of our awesome image, we carry ever on toward the future. Anyway, please visit The Yetiblog at our new location and also check out our mother publication The Yeti while you’re at it, especially those of you in the Tallahassee/Florida area.

Thanks for reading!

Ch-ch-changes!

As everyone knows, the end of the year is List Season in Blog Land. We all get List Fever and make lists of things that have something to do with our blogs. The specific causes of List Fever remain unknown, but it probably has something to do with taking our world, the chaos and madness of which becomes more apparent with each passing moment, and forcing some order upon it. Or whatever. Anyway List Fever happens.

We at The Yetiblog are no different! We blog, therefore we are (making lists). It’s in The Official Rules of Blogging.

THE OFFICIAL RULES OF BLOGGING

1. ABL: Always Be Linking to stuff.
2. Snark?
3. Make lists  of stuff at year’s end.

Yay, our first list!

This season was great for lists, because on top of being the end of the year, it was also the end of the decade. So there were normal year-end lists and superspecial Decade Edition lists. A lot of them! There were plenty of great ones, and there were even Lists of Lists, and there’s probably a Best Lists of 2009 and a Best Lists: Decade Edition somewhere in Blog Land. I don’t know where they are, I’m not a Listologist (practitioner of the List Sciences). But they’re out there, probably!

ANDY’S FAVORITE LISTS OF 2009

• Videogum - Best and Worst People of 2009
• Stereogum - 14 Best Band Beefs of 2009 and really just its whole Listomania category.
• Gawker - A Treasury of Terrifying Hyperbole by Dick Cheney, Hipster of the Decade (Carles!), and Jon Stewart: A Decade In Review
• Wonkette - Top 100 Things of This Rotten Decade and meta-list A Decade of Retrospectives: Wonkette Remembers Late 2009.

Second list! Just gathering momentum.

After the jump are some more lists, compiled by your friendly neighborhood Yetiblog editor, with some help from the good Listologists at the Institute of Duh:

SEXIEST MONARCHS OF 2009

• Queen Rania Al Abdullah of Jordan

Like I said, Institute of Duh

(This video was posted in 2008, but I just saw it yesterday, so it averages out to 2009.)

That concludes The Yetiblog’s Sexiest Monarchs list. On to the next one!

SEXIEST MUSIC VIDEOS OF THE DECADE

[Ed. Note-- This list does not include some classic sexy videos from hip-hop (Nelly, Petey Pablo,  et al) or techno/electro/"club music"/whatever, you get it (Benny Benassi, Alex Gaudino, the whole Ministry of Sound label really, et al). This is because, I don't know, I find them boring mostly. Just not my taste in sexy I guess. But they usually have a bunch of scantily clad hot people dancing provocatively and stuff in them, so, you know, honorable mention.]

5. Flight of the Conchords – The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room)

Whenever I used to hear people say that a sense of humor is an important turn-on, I would laugh at them because, I mean, had they seen Rodney Dangerfield? (All due respect. Sorry.) But then, some years ago, I stumbled across this picture of Dangerfield with his wife. Tune=changed. And so in honor of sexy humor, our list begins with this Flight of the Conchords classic. While not technically a music video, that is pretty much what it is, and I decide what does and doesn’t qualify for my list. It doesn’t hurt that Bret and Jemaine are cuties, or that Sally is beautiful enough to quit her normal job.

4. Beyoncé - Get Me Bodied

My colleagues at the Institute of Duh have informed me that “Single Ladies” is the Beyoncé video best loved by pretty much everyone, and with good reason. My favorite is this one, though. For one thing, the “Single Ladies” video is just a bunch of dancing in high heels, silly/hot unitards, and a stupid robot glove. This one is colorful, has some names of dance moves in it, and is just generally more fun. Also, the chorus of “Single Ladies” sends a horrible message: “If you like it then you should have put a ring on it” is both an intimidating ultimatum that discourages serious emotional involvement in anyone and a claim that marriage is the only legitimate form of long-term romantic affection, which is just a lie. “Get Me Bodied”, on the other hand, is about nothing more than going out with your friends and having a fun night of dancing in the club because it’s your birthday or something. Most importantly though, “Get Me Bodied” is almost twice as long as “Single Ladies”, which means twice as much Beyoncé!

3. Thunderheist – Jerk It

You get it. Of course you do. Or if you don’t, just wait: you’ll get it. Because a-doy. Personally, I had to watch this three or four times before I realized what it was about and why it was sexy, because I am stupid. But even before then I was completely hypnotized by it. Just a great intersection of music, lyrics, images, and euphemisms.

2. Britney Spears – I’m a Slave 4 U

When this video debuted in September 2001, I was a 13 year-old boy. The end.

1. D’Angelo – Untitled (How Does It Feel)

Embedding is disabled on the winner of this list, so to see it you’ll have to click through the link above, in a new window/tab plz so u can keep reading our wonderful lists! That’s probably for the best. I don’t want our faithful readers to suffer too many genital explosions because of lack of warning. Proceed at your own risk. Because yes, this video is that sexy. It’s too much! The song alone is on the shortlist of sexiest sound sequences in the history of recorded music, maybe of sound itself. Then there’s D’Angelo’s face and body to contend with, which speak for themselves. But the best thing about this video is its breathtaking intimacy–that long, single close-up. Best concept for an R&B video ever? Best concept for an R&B video ever. D’Angelo = (Al Green / Marvin Gaye) x Naked + the year 2000. (Metaphorical math is also sexy, but that’s a whole other list.)

MOST RIDICULOUS PRESIDENCY OF THE DECADE

1. George Walker Bush. Two terms. Eight years. For my entire adolescence, this guy was the elected leader of our country.

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

Speaking of which:

BEST BUSHISMS

5. “I’ve abandoned free market principles to save the free market system.” — Washington, D.C., Dec. 16, 2008

4. “Yesterday, you made note of my — the lack of my talent when it came to dancing. But nevertheless, I want you to know I danced with joy. And no question Liberia has gone through very difficult times.” — speaking with the president of Liberia, Washington, D.C., Oct. 22, 2008

3. “Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech.” — to Pope Benedict, Washington, D.C., April 15, 2008

2. “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” — Florence, South Carolina; January 11, 2000

1. “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” — Greater Nashua, New Hampshire, January 27, 2000

Of course, this list is incomplete, as all lists of Bushisms will be, forever. There are just too many. But here are some more. Sorry if there’s some redundancy. And here’s a pretty comprehensive list. Goodbye Mr. President! We’ll miss you kind of.

BEST YETI BLOGS OF 2009

2. The Yetiblog – Yay, that’s us! Great job everyone, we did spectacular! I wonder who beat us, though…

1. Yeti Blog – A blog about actual Yetis and Yeti-related subjects. Of course.

Well, that’s it for the Yetiblog’s better-late-than-never List Season coverage. While they had their deep, terrible flaws, 2009 and this whole decade have been sort of great and I for one am happy that ours is such a cool and exciting time. Thank you so much for reading this far, we hope you enjoyed it and will continue reading the Yetiblog!

The advertising world is full of annoying ads, jingles, characters, and so forth. It’s kind of their stock in trade. Look at Billy Mays. Look at him, directly, square in the eyes. It’s difficult to do so, especially now, but you’ll see where his power came from: he annoyed you until you finally relented and agreed that his stupid products (Orange Glo, Oxy Clean, that muffin pan that made sliders, etc.) would actually be a good buy. He was the Jack Bauer of infomercials. He’d lock you in a room and violate your constitutional rights until you bought Mighty Putty.

And so it is with this commercial for Education Connection. It would probably fall by the Wayside of Abandoned Websites if it weren’t for this earworm of a jingle. According to the YouTube profile, it was written by one Anthony Falcone (of Gotham City’s favorite crime family, I would imagine), and one Rusty J. Rusty J WHAT, I don’t know. This commercial is a perfect example of getting beaten into submission by a catchy tune.

Let me be clear: this isn’t a good song. It’s a low-rent Waitresses ripoff which, given the costume of the singer (lip-syncher?), may be intentional. However, it passes the Ubiquitous Annoyance test:

1. Is it annoying? YES
2. Is it identifiable? YES
3. Do you find that you are humming it to yourself? YES
4. Did you seek it out on YouTube? YES
5. Did you investigate who the girl was? YES, ANDREANNA VEITH

Eventually you find yourself at that “breaking point” and start to concede the validity of the ad to some extent. “I’m unemployed,” you say, “maybe I do need my online AA.” Just as you conceded that you needed the slider pan. Just as you conceded that you needed a Juice Tiger. Just as I conceded, almost 20 years ago, that I needed a pocket sandwich press. (It was a dark time in my life, and that is all that will be said on the matter.)

Then the final question comes: “Will you buy/use the product/service?” My answer: still NO. Anything with a “success kit” seems shady. What the hell is a “success kit,” anyway? Read these pamphlets, and you’ll succeed? Sounds like every real estate system infomercial ever.

But, I’ll hand it to you, EdConn, Aflac, and Rusty-Jizzle: you drilled that song into my brain. Your final reward awaits you in Hell.

(via Max Silvestri Tumbles This Inside You)

From the Yetiblog. We love you very much.

(Thanks, noralynn)

The bulk of the bill is unchanged so it’s still horrifying and terrible, and in a way is this is an ominous sign because now it’s pretty much certain to pass with widespread support from religious leaders who opposed it because of those harshest of provisions.

Although it no longer proposes to execute people for who they are, it would still imprison people for who they are. And still in the bill: 3 years in prison for not snitching on gays you know.

Today’s news is good, but the situation is still very, very bad.

(via Bloomberg)

So many things. First of all: This almost made me wish Richard Cohen was right about being able to Cure the Gays, so I could turn Rachel Maddow straight and MARRY HER!

Sorry, that joke was Very Inappropriate, especially considering how Very Serious this interview was. Because, as summed up perfectly at Videogum-temporarily-Seriousgum, “DOUBLE YIIIIIIKES.”

And even that was an understatement. Because the Ugandan legislators who wrote the sickening Anti-Homosexuality Bill have been touting Richard Cohen’s teachings about curing people of their homosexuality as justification and inspiration for what they’re doing. (Cohen vehemently asserts that he doesn’t “cure” homosexuality, but as Maddow deftly points out, it’s merely a semantic difference, not a substantive one.)

Some of the provisions in that bill after the jump:

• Life in prison for being gay or having gay sex.
• Death penalty for having gay sex more than once.
• Death penalty for being gay with HIV.
• Death penalty for having sex with a minor.
• 3 years in prison for knowing someone gay and not snitching on them.
• “Promotion of homosexuality” prohibited (read: goodbye, HIV/AIDS prevention organizations!).

It proposes the execution of human beings because of who they are.

And by all accounts, Maddow thrashed him for it, easily shattering his phony credibility and slicing through his equivocation and double-talk. Throughout the interview Maddow kept her relative cool and was polite, but incredibly stern.  Her questions had the quietly devastating bite of terrific journalism. At several points in the interview Cohen is visibly shaking. No wonder Dick Cheney won’t let her interview him. She makes David Frost look like…well, he still looks like David Frost. But she is our generation’s David Frost, or something! She is great, is what I’m saying.

Coverage of Maddow’s takedown has been pretty much universally positive in Bloglnad, with the word “eviscerates” popping up more than once. (A happy surprise! “Eviscerate” is one of my favorite words.) I suspect this is mostly because people who wouldn’t like her don’t watch her and don’t care what she does. Also, if this interview is any indication of the kind of opponent she normally is (and having been a fan of the show since its inception, I can attest that it is), Rachel Maddow is not someone you want to be mad at you, even if your livelihood is based on liberals being mad at you. She is too smart and too thorough and too polite to be trifled with.

Now: time for nitpicking. (What else are blogs for, after all?) Not with Maddow’s performance, obvs–she is a prize fighter. Muhammad Ali ain’t got shit on her. My beef is with some of the liberal bloggers dutifully fawning over her and their accidental oopsies that actually reveal many sad truths about how we approach the world today.

Here’s something from Jezebel, a usually great site which I read often and possesses an Official Yetiblog Endorsement, which is meaningless, but hey:

It [the bill] would effectively ban HIV/AIDS prevention education, would imprison those who fail to report homosexual behavior, and, perhaps most disturbing of all, would allow people to be executed for having HIV. [My emphasis]

Why, pray tell, is execution for having HIV more disturbing than execution for having consensual sexual intercourse with another human being of the same sex as yourself?

This is from Gawker, another typically great site with Official Yetiblog Endorsement:

Maddow has been prepping for this fight for days, ever since a proposed Ugandan anti-gay bill that would make homosexuality punishable by death became one of her show’s pet issues. [My emphasis]

Um, PET ISSUE? Listen, Gawker, I know as well as anyone that as a professional blog it becomes second-nature to make jokes about serious matters and flippantly trivialize important things, and the Rachel Maddow Show does have a proclivity for so-called “pet issues,” but um, Gawker? We’re talking about a sovereign nation trying to INSTITUTIONALIZE HATE CRIME. This is not a “pet issue” so much as it is “responsible journalism,” and a “Why the fuck isn’t fucking everybody freaking the fuck out about this?! issue.”

Because let’s all be crystal clear about what this legislation is: INSTITUTIONALIZED HATE CRIME.

OK, nitpicking over. Those relatively little things aside, both articles were good and worth reading.

While we’re on the subject of INSTITUTIONALIZED HATE CRIME, though: amorphous grey blob of pudding CNN‘s article about the legislation actually has the four most chilling lines I’ve read in a news article in a long time (it’s still CNN, so of course they’re buried in the middle, aka The Part That No One Bothers To Read):

The Rev. Esau Omara, a senior church leader, said over the weekend that any lawmaker opposing the bill will pay for it during the next election, according to local newspaper reports.

Ohhhhhh boy. Church leaders vehemently supporting the institutionalized persecution of human beings because of who they are and how they choose to live their own lives? It’s 1478 all over again.

And a leading Muslim cleric, Sheikh Ramathan Shaban Mubajje, has called for gays to be rounded up and banished to an island until they die.

Remember kids, bigotry knows no religion or creed.

Several media outlets also have inflamed sentiments in recent months by publicly pointing out gays and lesbians.

In April, the Observer newspaper published tips to help readers spot homosexuals. And over the summer, the Red Pepper tabloid outed 45 gays and lesbians.

Another round of “DOUBLE YIIIIIIKES” for everyone! Wait, what am I saying? Using the media to target already vulnerable marginalized groups has, historically, always worked out for the best. Nevermind.

At least we have people like Rachel Maddow trying to stop this from happening by holding accountable those who have enabled, aided, and abetted the people who created this situation. When she tells Cohen “you’ve got blood on your hands here,” she’s absolutely right.

[Rachel Maddow Rips Into Ugandan Anti-Gay Bill, American Backers - Jezebel]
[Seriousgum Presents Rachel Maddow's Interview of Richard Cohen - Videogum]
[Rachel Maddow vs. The Man Who Claims He Can Make Her Straight - Gawker]
[Why is Uganda attacking homosexuality? - CNN]